Shakespeare would seriously laugh so hard if he found out how seriously people take his works. Like, he would probably cry from laughing so hard if you told him that his plays were considered high-brow literature. “It’s all dick jokes and sword fights,” he’d say, “do they seriously tell my dick jokes to schoolchildren? And the kids aren’t allowed to laugh? Do the teachers know they’re telling dick jokes? Oh my god that’s fucking hilarious. Wait until I tell Anne.”
Aries: stop jackin off
Taurus: hoe and not ashamed of it
Cancer: crybaby ass
Leo: BIG Bitch and u fuckin kno it. u love it dont u.
Virgo: ethereal and always SO busy
Scorpio: u are sleepy and powerful.
Sagittarius: probably like drinkin some healthy shit. u look good as hell too.
Aquarius: clean ur fingernails
Pisces: stop bein so stingy an love urself